You've got a friend

Over this weekend, I experienced amazing hospitality.  I went to Momentum with a friend, her cousin (who I did not know) and her cousins uni friends.  And despite not knowing these people, being a complete stranger to them, I was completely welcomed for the week.

To be honest, if I had arranged to go away for a few days with friends, and a random joined the group, I would not be impressed.  I would not have gone out of my way to include them, or to befriend them, but this is what I experienced this week.

These people taught me so much about friendship and love.

Grateful

A friend of mine wrote a post along these lines recently, and I thought it was a good idea, as it stops me whinging!  So what have I been grateful for over the last few weeks?

1) Friends, both old and new.  

I've been stupidly busy over the last year and haven't had much time to see my friends, so I've really enjoyed spending lots of time with them this summer.  I've been to New York to see one lovely friend, who I hadn't seen in over a year, so that was fabulous.  And then I had a week away where I spent loads of time with lovely people, and met some new friends.  You know when you  barely know someone, then you spend time with them and you completely click and find you can tell them absolutely anything?  I found someone like this over the summer, which is always a winner.  And then last week I spent a lovely day catching up with a wonderful person who has helped me through some difficult times in the past.  So all in all, I love all my friends and feel so grateful to have them.  I actually don't know where (if anywhere) I'd be without some of them. 

2) Slightly more shallowly...my new phone and laptop.  

Both very beautiful...so beautiful that I don't think I can say anything else!

3) My holidays.  

Despite being absolutely broke, I've had a lovely holiday in New York, then went to Norfolk/ Suffolk (not sure which!) and am going to Belgium this week, and then possibly down to Somerset.  After being stuck in London for the last year, it's been so nice to escape and breathe fresh air!

4) My health.

Yes, so I sound like a little old lady here.  But I've never really thought about this before.  I've always taken it for granted, but I realised the other day how lucky I am to be alive and healthy, both physically and mentally.

As I am such a whinger, I'm going to try and post along these lines every few weeks...so look forward to some optimism!

x

PS: Fancy sharing a joke...

       Q) What do you call a man with no shins?

       A) Tony! (Say it...Toe-knee...)

When I cried a river

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA

I saw this video (which for some reason would not post as a nice playable link) over the weekend and found it so powerful.  Some of the things in it are so poignant to me and are things that I've struggled with, and I love the way it represents the Christian walk of life.

Like many people, I was in floods of tears when watching this.  

Who can catch me?

I was reminded this weekend about how hard I find it to trust people.  Can anyone be truly and completely trusted?  I don't think so, as humans are flawed beings.  Whether we like it or not, people judge each other, upset each other and disappoint.

I've also been reminded about how you can feel so let down by people.  Maybe intentionally, maybe not, people hurt you and ruin that bit of trust you were beginning to put in them.  That is something which is so hard to repair while the memories are still present.

Most of the time, I accept that I am not a trusting person.  Sure, I'll tell 'girly secrets' to people, or share who my latest crush is, but share something close to my heart, or something that upsets me? No, I can't do this easily.  Most of the time this is fine, I'm content to keep it in my head, but there are other times, like this weekend, that this begins to eat you up, and you wish you trusted enough to share.

Today

I feel pretty rubbish today. I fact, I feel about 2 feet tall. Why? Because I hate cliques and exclusive friendships. I have a group of friends, who I thought were quite good friends, and I look forward to hanging out and spending time with them. But today, I felt so far out of the group, that I may as well be elsewhere. I have recently got to know one person well and I worked to introduce her to everyone and welcome her into the group. Yet today, I found myself being pushed out and ignored. Am I just imaginaring this? No. I hate the pettiness of all of this. I hate that suddenly I am having to think about what I say: that I can't relax and be myself anymore. Clearly being myself isn't doing me any favours and seems to be losing me a lot of friends.

And worse than this clique is seeing the pity in their eyes as they talk to me: the dislike and contempt.

Inspiration

I feel enormously privileged to have the friends that I do. They are such an inspiration, in that everything they have gone through has helped to shape them into the most amazing people. I know that if I had gone through at least half as much as some of my friends, I would not even be half the person they are today.

I'm not just talking about one friend, but about many. The thing that I have noticed about all of them is that their struggles have not harboured bitterness and resentment, but have brought them closer to God, who has made them peaceful and gentle people.

These people are such an inspiration, and I know I would love to be like that. To be so open to what life has thrown at them, but remain selfless, not wrapped up in their own struggles. Each of these people has taught me so much.