I feel pretty rubbish today. I fact, I feel about 2 feet tall. Why? Because I hate cliques and exclusive friendships. I have a group of friends, who I thought were quite good friends, and I look forward to hanging out and spending time with them. But today, I felt so far out of the group, that I may as well be elsewhere. I have recently got to know one person well and I worked to introduce her to everyone and welcome her into the group. Yet today, I found myself being pushed out and ignored. Am I just imaginaring this? No. I hate the pettiness of all of this. I hate that suddenly I am having to think about what I say: that I can't relax and be myself anymore. Clearly being myself isn't doing me any favours and seems to be losing me a lot of friends.
And worse than this clique is seeing the pity in their eyes as they talk to me: the dislike and contempt.
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